Dullstroom's Hidden Gem: Critchley Hackle Towers Awaits!
Critchley Hackle Towers: A Dullstroom Dream… Or a Slightly Fuzzy Reality? (A Rambling Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea – or rather, the Rooibos, since we're in Dullstroom. I just got back from Critchley Hackle Towers, and honestly? It's a whole thing. It's the kind of place you read about in glossy magazines, the kind of place that promises pristine perfection. Does it deliver? Well, let's unpack this thing like a… well, like a very enthusiastic suitcase.
First Impressions: The "Wow" and the "Hmm…"
Pulling up to Critchley Hackle is undeniably impressive. The architecture is all fairytale turrets and charming stonework. It screams "romantic getaway" and "luxury retreat." The views across the trout dams are breathtaking, instantly washing away the stress of the drive from… well, anywhere, really. (Dullstroom is famously remote, so factor in that journey. The airport transfer? We'll get to that).
But… and there's always a "but," isn't there? …the initial "wow" was followed by a slight "hmm." The grand entrance felt a little… deserted. Almost too quiet. Maybe that's the intention? Peace and quiet? Yeah, maybe. But it felt a little lonely at first.
Accessibility & Beyond: Navigating the Labyrinth
Right off the bat, let's talk about accessibility. (Accessibility) They DO have Facilities for disabled guests, which is fantastic. But how truly accessible? I honestly didn't delve too deep into the specifics of mobility, but what I did see suggested varying grades of accessibility depending on the area of the location. It’s definitely not a straightforward operation, and so do double-check with the hotel, and give clear details about any specific needs, and if you have a specific need, don't take my word for it and to ask the hotel directly
Getting Around: The Lost and Found of the Car Park
Parking? (Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Valet parking). Plenty of parking. Free parking. Even valet, if you're feeling fancy, it’s a wonderful feeling, especially after a long drive. So far, so good, though the layout of some areas felt a little… maze-like. I actually got slightly lost more than once trying to find my room. Let's just say I spent a significant amount of time trying to locate my car (and perhaps muttering under my breath about the lack of clearer signage).
Rooms: My Fortress of Solitude (with REALLY Good Blackout Curtains)
My room! Oh, my room. (Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens)
Okay, let's be real, I can't list every single detail on what my room offered but it was well-appointed. And the blackout curtains? Absolute champions. Seriously, the best I've ever encountered. Slept like a log. The free Wi-Fi in all rooms! also worked flawlessly – a small but crucial win in this digital age. The extra long bed was a dream, and the complimentary tea (and a proper kettle!) was a welcome touch. The mini bar (stocked, but I’m not sharing prices) was a nice touch, the hair dryer worked well… you get the idea.
Internet Jitters and LAN Lulls:
Okay, so while the Wi-Fi [free] was excellent in the room, I did venture out for Internet services (mostly due to my work). The Internet access – LAN was available, but I didn't have to touch it. It was seamless. It was a dream, no interruption, no lags. I’m still surprised by how seamless it was. A bonus!
Spa Shenanigans: Body Wraps and (Possibly) a Bit of Drama
The spa… (Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom) This is where things got interesting. The spa itself is gorgeous. Seriously, the view from the Pool with view is unreal. I had a massage – utterly divine. The therapist was incredibly skilled, and the atmosphere was serene. They offer a body wrap and body scrub too. I didn't try those, but the massage alone almost sent me to sleep.
However… (here it comes, the drama!)… there were a couple of minor hiccups. The sauna felt a little under-temperature (perhaps I'm just a hardcore sauna enthusiast?), and the steam room felt a little… well, not necessarily steamy (they possibly kept it shut because of Covid). Again, for the price, it was good but not perfect.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: From Trout Fishing to… More of the Same?
Dullstroom is all about relaxation, and Critchley Hackle definitely leans into that. They have a Fitness Center (Gym/fitness) (which, confession time, I didn't actually use, but I'm sure it was… there), and of course, the fishing is a major draw. (Things to do, ways to relax)
But, beyond the relaxation, there's a bit of… a lack of variety? I mean, are you a hardcore relaxation person? If so, you'll adore it. If you're someone who gets a little restless, you might find yourself… pacing… after a couple of days. It's not a place for adrenaline junkies, let's put it that way.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: A Mixed Bag of Culinary Adventures
The food situation. (A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant). Alright, so there are a few restaurants. The breakfast buffet was your standard fare, decent quality, but nothing to write home about. The coffee/tea in restaurant was good though. The poolside bar was perfect for a sundowner, and the 24-hour room service was a lifesaver after a long day of… well, relaxing!
I had the most amazing desserts on the first evening. It was memorable. Seriously. This place did food, and that's the best you can hope for.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the COVID Question: Sanitized and (Mostly) Secure
Okay, this is important. (Cleanliness and safety: Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment)
Critchley Hackle is clearly taking COVID-19 seriously. Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, staff wearing masks, and visible cleaning measures throughout the property. Rooms sanitized between stays, and they offered me the room sanitization opt-out available. It definitely felt safe, which is a huge plus these days.
Service & Conveniences: The Good, the Meh, and the Slightly Annoying
The staff were generally friendly and helpful, though sometimes a little stretched thin. The Concierge was great for recommending activities. (Services and conveniences: Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center). There was a convenience store, but its selection was quite limited
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your polished, Instagram-filtered travel plan. This is the real deal, a messy, opinionated, probably-getting-lost-somewhere kind of adventure to Critchley Hackle in Dullstroom, South Africa. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, bad coffee, and questionable decisions. Let's go!
CRITCHLEY HACKLE & DULLSTROOM: A MESSY, GLORIOUS ITINERARY
(This is a suggestion, folks. Expect deviations. My GPS is a liar, I'm prone to naps, and I'm definitely not made of iron.)
Day 1: The Arrival & The Existential Crisis of the Pothole
- Morning (ish): The dreaded airport trek. I hate flying. The air is recycled, the armrests are sticky, and the forced smiles of the flight attendants give me the creeps. But… South Africa! So, I endure. Finally, the glorious landing in Johannesburg. The air smells of… something. Sun and dust, maybe? Or just the general je ne sais quoi of Africa.
- Afternoon: Car rental. This is always a comedy of errors. Trying to understand the rental agent with their super-fast Afrikaans-tinged English is a sport in itself. "So, this thing is called a 'hatchback', and this is the… the thing that goes 'vroom'?" Eventually get the car. It smells like… well, a car. Embrace it. The journey to Dullstroom begins! Or, at least, the hunt for a road that isn’t a lunar landscape masquerading as an actual road. Seriously, South African potholes. They're bigger than my… well, bigger than a lot of things. I swear I saw one swallow a small donkey. (Maybe that was the exhaustion talking.) My first existential crisis of the trip, brought on by the sheer size of these craters. "Am I a terrible driver? Is this the road to my doom? Will I ever find smooth tarmac again?"
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Arrive at Critchley Hackle. Finally! And… holy moly. The architecture! It's all stone and charm and a fireplace begging to be lit. I feel an immediate connection to the old, strong foundation, somehow. Check in. The receptionist is lovely, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a disaster zone after the pothole gauntlet. Unpack. First order of business: Locate the wine. (My coping mechanism of choice.) Admire the view from the balcony. Breathe. Okay, maybe I can relax. Maybe.
- Evening: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Order something I have to Google later. (Seriously, South African cuisine is delicious but I don't know any of it.) Struggle to hold back tears as I learn of the lives of the chefs and waiters and how much they love living in this place. I'm already falling in love. The wine helps. The fire in my soul, however, is in its infancy, and I'm already experiencing the beauty of the land. Contemplate the meaning of life. Fall asleep before dessert.
Day 2: Flies, Fishing, and Finding Inner Peace (Maybe)
- Morning: Wake up. Coffee. Or, the attempt at coffee. This is where South African coffee betrays me. It's robust, dark, and a little bit… earthy. (Translation: it’s probably not Starbucks.) Try my hand at fly fishing. I am terrible at fly fishing. The flies get stuck in trees. The fish laugh at me from the depths. I find the flies get stuck in my hair. I come home empty-handed. It is a good thing that I am a person who loves a good joke because I'm living one. But the scenery! The rolling hills, the quiet water, the… sun! This is the stuff of dreams. And, I almost caught a fish.
- Midday: Lunch at a local restaurant. Attempt to navigate the menu. Embrace the awkwardness of pronouncing words I don't understand. Eat something delicious. Chat with the friendly locals. Discover how many "Braai"s I can eat in one week. Realize that the charm of Dullstroom is in the simplicity and genuine humanity.
- Afternoon: Explore the town. Browse the quirky shops. Buy something utterly useless and regret it later. Wander the streets. Feel the brisk mountain air on my skin. Notice how the light changes throughout the day. Wonder if I could live here. Then, remember the potholes and the coffee and re-evaluate. Maybe not. But then again… maybe.
- Evening: Back to Critchley Hackle. Read a book by the fireplace. (This is where the inner peace is supposed to kick in, right?) Have a second moment of existential crisis while pondering the meaning of the word "peace." Maybe the wine is kicking in. Or the altitude. Or both. Eat a proper dinner. Maybe even manage dessert this time and keep reading. Go to sleep.
Day 3: "The Experience" (aka, The Long Walk)
- Morning: This is the day that I take a long walk out in the wilderness. I wake up with a renewed sense of self. The weather, I later discover, is perfect, even though it's freezing.
- Mid-Morning: I set out on the path and I am immediately overcome by the wind, the beauty of the landscape. I walk and walk. I see the most beautiful views imaginable, the sky is blue, the air fresh. I feel connected, I truly do.
- Lunch (ish): I stopped to eat my lunch. The sandwiches were nice, I was feeling great. I had walked, what, five miles? I feel like I have a new lease on life.
- Mid-Afternoon: The terrain grew a bit more rugged. The clouds began to roll in. I'm still determined to continue.
- Early Evening: I made it back, I was exhausted, wind-blown, soaked through, and so incredibly happy that I had a second existential cry about the meaning of life and how beautiful it all is. Hot shower. Dinner by the fire again.
Day 4: Leaving and the "Maybe" of Homecoming
- Morning: More coffee. More sighs. Realize I don’t want to leave. Pack. Try to avoid tears. Say goodbye to the staff. They probably think I’m even more of a disaster zone than they thought before.
- Midday: One last meal at a local restaurant. Order something outrageously delicious and swear I'll try to copy the recipe. (I won't.) Do some last-minute souvenir shopping. Regret the useless purchase from Day 2.
- Afternoon: The long drive back to Johannesburg. The potholes. The coffee-induced internal monologue. The bittersweet feeling of leaving paradise. The creeping sense that I’ll never be the same.
- Evening: The airport. The flying. The sadness. The knowledge that I'll be back. Because, despite the potholes, the questionable coffee, and the occasional existential crisis, this place… Dullstroom… Critchley Hackle… it got to me. And I'm okay with that.
(This itinerary is subject to change. I'm a work in progress. And I wouldn't have it any other way.) Remember, pack light, embrace the chaos, and for the love of all that is holy, watch out for the potholes! Enjoy!
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Dullstroom's Secret: Critchley Hackle Towers... Is It Worth the Hype? Let's Get Real. FAQ.
Okay, Critchley Hackle Towers – Sounds Fancy. What *is* it, exactly? (And Is It Secretly Just a Hotel?)
Right, so the 'Towers' part makes it sound like some medieval castle in Scotland, doesn't it? It's not… quite. Imagine a REALLY luxurious, almost ridiculously picturesque lodge, nestled amongst the rolling hills and trout-filled dams of Dullstroom. Think fireplaces, comfy sofas you could lose yourself in for days, and views that will literally make you gasp (assuming you're not one of those immune-to-beauty types). Yes, it's essentially a hotel, a very, very nice one. But it's more than just a bed and a breakfast. It's an *experience*, darling, a *vibe*. (And yes, I'm aware I sound like someone trying to sell perfume.)
I went there once with my… well, let's just say *complicated* partner. He was expecting a proper hunt, proper adventure. I was hoping for a nap. It's that kind of place. It caters to both, somehow. The adventure-seeking type gets their fly-fishing and hiking, while the nap enthusiast (me) gets the roaring fireplaces, gourmet food, and enough peace and quiet to actually *hear* my own thoughts… which, let me tell you, is sometimes terrifying. I actually made a friend! Someone I met in the bar, and even though we only shared a few drinks, it's moments like that that make you remember a trip. And you know what? I think he enjoyed the firepla- wait. Where was I? Oh yes, Critchley Hackle. It's not just a hotel. It's a… well, it *felt* special.
Is it REALLY 'hidden'? Because the internet seems to know about everything these days!
Okay, "hidden gem" is a bit of marketing puffery, isn't it? It's not like you're going to stumble upon it with a map and a compass. You'll probably find it on Booking.com or, you know, Google. "Hidden" these days just means "not quite as mainstream as the big chain hotels." That said, Dullstroom itself is somewhat off the beaten path for many, and Critchley Hackle (thankfully) isn't overrun with massive tour groups. You still get that sense of tranquility. It feels tucked away, private. That's the vibe as I mentioned. And honestly, if it *was* truly hidden, I wouldn't be able to write about it, would I?
What's the food like? And, more importantly, should I pack snacks? (Because I'm always hungry…)
The food… oh, the food. Let me tell you, I'm a sucker for good food. And Critchley Hackle delivers. We're talking gourmet stuff, folks. Think beautifully presented dishes with locally sourced ingredients. (Trout, obviously. You're in Dullstroom!). They actually have this game experience, you know. We did the game experience… it was fantastic. The biltong and pate, the presentation, oh my goodness! The wine list is also pretty great. My ex-partner (yes, him again, I promise I can move on from him) loved the wine. I loved the cheese plates. And yes, the food is expensive, but it's worth it, every single bite. Honestly, if you're a true foodie, you might be disappointed by nothing because you will be so happy, so get ready to be full!
Now, about the snacks: I’m not a huge fan of packing snacks. But if you're like me, *always* hungry (or if you have those late-night cravings), maybe pack a few bars or some nuts. Just in case. You're not going to starve, but sometimes you just *need* a little something at 11 pm, right? Don't overdo it, though. You'll want space for all that delicious food! I actually got a little too obsessed with the cheese board one night.
What can you *do* there? Besides, you know, breathe and eat fancy things?
Okay, so the obvious: Fishing! Dullstroom is trout mecca. (Sorry. I couldn't resist.) Critchley Hackle has its own dams and can arrange fishing trips. Hiking is also a big one. The scenery is stunning, and there are trails for all levels. You can also horse ride. I believe they offer bird watching. I was too busy eating.
But honestly the best thing is just to chill. The whole point is to escape the everyday grind. Read a book by the fire. Take a nap. Get a massage. (Yes, they have those.) Stare at the sky. Watch the mist roll in. Disconnect from the internet and reconnect with… yourself. (Ugh, that sounds so cliché, but it's true!) I remember one afternoon, just sitting on the deck, watching the sun go down. I thought about nothing. My mind was quiet. It was… amazing.
Is it kid-friendly? (Because I have tiny humans!)
Hmm. This is a tricky one. While Critchley Hackle does *welcome* children, it's probably not the wild, kid-centric resort. It's more geared towards a relaxing weekend, a romantic getaway, or a quiet escape. There aren’t massive play areas or specific kid's clubs. I saw a few families while I was there, but I suspect it's more enjoyable if your children are, you know, *relatively* well-behaved and can appreciate the atmosphere. If your kids are the type who climb on furniture and shriek at the top of their lungs, maybe look for somewhere else. Or, you know, just pack a LOT of patience. And earplugs.
The Prices, please! Because let's face it, it's going to be expensive, isn't it?
Alright, let's be honest: Critchley Hackle is not a budget destination. It’s a splurge. Prices vary depending on the season, the room type, and any extras you add (massages, fancy wine, the aforementioned fishing trip). Expect to pay a premium. It's the price you pay for luxury, exclusivity, and the overall experience. But after you've been there I think you would feel that it's well worth the price. Look at the pictures, dream… then start saving!
What's the vibe? Romantic? Family-friendly? Stuffy?
Romantic, definitely. Couples are the main demographic. Family-friendly, in a more subdued way, as discussed. Stuffy?Top Hotel Search
